On The Side
by HaveTheHabitsHadYou
Summary: Naruto's feeling used and abused. Can Sasuke make the right decision? Will he fix or break Naruto? SasuNaru SasuSaku Rated M for a reason.
1. Prologue

The heat, the passion it meant nothing, every time you'd go back to her. I love you. You know I do. You love me. I know you do. She means nothing to you! And you mean the world to me, why!? Why!? Why!? Why do you always leave and go back to her!? Why!?

The startling heart break which swelled in my chest was making my throat feel constricted. Causing me to choke on the sobs ripping from my throat, which was raw from screaming your name. When I look in the mirror all I see is a shell of the person I used to be. You've broken me down baby, well and truly. I don't know where to go from here, I can't continue like this, it hurts every time you whisper 'I love you' and its hurts a million times more when you whisper it to her. I could give you everything you wanted, everything you needed so why do you stay with her?

You tell me she's nothing to you; do you tell her the same about me? Who is it you want? Every touch, every kiss, I feel the love you give off. But I doubt myself, maybe it only feels like love because I'm so desperate for it to be love. I tell myself it's better to have you for a night twice a week at the most then not at all, even if you never stay the whole night. But now I'm struggling with myself, is it really? The pain is so great, but the love is too, the question is; is the love worth the pain? I don't know if it is anymore.

Please, please, please. Oh god, please stay with me.

I force my face into the pillow filled with the musky scent of you and sex, screaming your name as I feel my throat tear and bleed. The tears wont' disappear as much I try to force them down they won't go away. They're soaking into the pillow and for a fleeting moment I wonder how long it would take for me to run out of breath, how long it would take me to slip away. The thought scares me more than anything ever has before, I wasn't like this. I'm supposed to be like sunshine, cheery and always bright.

But I'm losing my shine, I'm not sure if you can see it, if you could, would you fix me up like you used to? I miss the days when it was just you and me. You used to hate her, her stupid obsession with you, you'd hide at my house or hide behind me whenever she came searching for you, she hated me. I kept you safe for her. Then as we grew up so did she, her obsession with you still existed and was still blatantly obvious, but she didn't chase you and stalk you. The day you told me you and her had started dating was just, so, shocking and depressing. I ran from you, I didn't know what else to do. You knew how I felt about you, I'm not good at subtle, I knew you felt the same as I did. I was so confused and hurt I wanted to just throw myself of the Hokage tower and get it over with, that way I'd no longer being an obstacle in your way to rebuilding your precious clan.

I hate you. I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you so much!

I screamed louder this time, louder and gruffer my voice wearing down. I wasn't going to do this anymore; I'd lost who I was. The happy go lucky obnoxious clumsy grinning blonde everyone loved, I loved. Why do you mean so much to me? Why do I let you abuse my love like this? I feel so dirty.

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_Should Sasuke make his affair with Naruto a permanent relationship? Or should he end it with Naruto and stay with Sakura?_


	2. Chapter One

**I updated. :3  
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Wednesday. God I loved Wednesdays. Relaxing further into my sofa I watched as the clock ticked away, completely relaxed and happy to watch the time float by slowly. Today could go as slow as it pleased because today, I got to see him; I had called in sick today, purely because it had been so long since we'd got together. Yes Wednesday was 'meeting' day, so Sakura thought Sasuke was working late when really he was with me. Ha. A sigh slipped from my lips and I could feel a smile light up my face. I was perfectly content lying here on the sofa in my boxers waiting for him. I yawned and closed my eyes; he'd wake me when he arrived.

The first thing I became aware of as I groggily woke up was hot breath on my lips making them moist and warm and the heat radiating off another's body hovering over my own. I cracked open my eyes which were slightly bleary from sleep and smiled when I saw the familiar pale, flawless face hovering mere centimetres above mine. I shifted my body to be more comfortable under his and a smile spread across his lips as I began blushing from the position we were in. It was a rare thing to see, Sasuke smiling but he tended to smile at my idiocy or embarrassment. He was comfortably lying between my legs; his arms resting either side of the arm rest behind my head and his face not close enough to my own.

"Sasuke," I whispered breathlessly as a greeting.

"Dobe" He smirked. "I'm glad you got some rest, you'll need all the energy you can get for tonight." He winked and ran his tongue swiftly over his lips.

"Oh? I'll hold you to that." I smiled and leaned upwards to meet those sinfully pleasurable lips.

He met me halfway our lips moulding together as one, moving in perfect sync. I closed my eyes once more as I felt whole again, all week I'd had an empty sinking feeling and now as soon as his lips touched mine I felt completely whole and ecstatically happy. He didn't need to ask from entry as I opened my mouth letting his tongue explore the depths of my mouth before his tongue wrapped around mine, encouraging it to play with his own. My arms wrapped around his neck and I buried my hands in his silky locks, pulling further into me. I moaned as our tongues played together, my breaths coming out it harsh hot pants. I pulled back to regain my breath as his mouth moved to the familiar canvas of my neck, sucking, licking nibbling. It sent me wild! I threw my head to the side, exposing more of the flesh to him. I gripped the sofa in my hands, trying to hold back the moans as he sucked on the particularly sensitive spot on my neck just below my ear.

Gently and slowly he began brushing his hips against mine, our erections barely making contact, I groaned in dissatisfaction and bucked against him. I could feel the smirk forming on his lips which were still glued to my neck as he began to grind against me, fast and hard, I bit my lip, trying to hold in the screams of satisfaction. He pulled back momentarily to whisper deep and huskily in my ear.

"Don't hold back on those delicious sounds, baby, you know I love them." Which only made me blush and try and hold them in harder.

I could feel his thrusting and grinding getting harder and harder, I couldn't help but let out a needy moan, my erection was becoming painfully restricted by my jeans. God, I needed him. It'd only been a week or so and I was already desperate for him, the fact he was with her only made me need him more and more.

"Sasuke! Bedroom, please!" I whimpered in the most innocent voice I could muster knowing what it did to him.

He groaned into my neck and grabbed my legs wrapping them around his waist and shifting me comfortably so he could stand. As he did so I moaned loudly, his erection was now pressed against my ass, hard. He snorted with laughter before walking towards the bedroom, all the while I moaned as his erection kept brushing against my ass. I began sucking and licking his neck as we walked, tempted to leave a love bite, but deciding against it. The walk from the sofa to the bed seemed to go on forever, the slow torturous teasing of Sasuke rubbing against me and the soft vibrations; which made me tremble, as Sasuke groaned while I sucked and nibbled on his neck and collarbone. Finally he dumped be very ungracefully on the bed, following gracefully soon after. I was sprawled with Sasuke between my legs, smirking down at me with that predatory glint in his eyes. God I loved when he looked like that. Usually I put up a fight, I fought for dominance over everything, but with Sasuke, when we were like this, I liked him controlling me. Something about him made me submit, I wanted to be dominated by him and he rewarded me for it every time.

"S'uke." I whimpered as he continued to just stare at me, I was aching for his touch; my whole body was hot and needy.

"Mm, what na-ru-to, baby?" He purred accentuating the sections of my name while running his fingers smoothly down my chest; I arched into his touch automatically.

My fingers moved down to the hem of his shirt shoving up, implying I wanted it off, I don't like being the only one mostly undressed. He smirked and stripped off his shirt before leaning down and liking down my neck, to my chest before taking one of my nipples in his mouth, rubbing the flat of this tongue against it. I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut, the sensual torture Sasuke was inflicting upon my body always sent me insane. His hand tweaked at my other nipple, making me moan, load, as always. After both nipples were perked to attention he licked a path from my nipples down my torso. He dipped his tongue in my navel and I bit hard against my bottom lip, stifling a scream. The tattoo on my stomach seemed to make the area around it extremely sensitive and Sasuke knew this and often used it to get his way. I could feel his lips curl into a smirk against the sensitive skin of my navel and a shiver ripped through me, he then began to do what could only be described as making out with my navel.

This time I couldn't hold it in I threw my head back, my back arched and screamed, load, really loud. Thank god no one really lived nearby; I'd get so many complaints. Sasuke moved down pleased with my reaction, licking kissing and sucking as he went until he reached the hem of my boxers. I groaned displeased and hitched myself up on my elbows staring at him through cloudy eyes and probably an extremely flushed face, he smiled at me and I could feel my heart flutter so I smiled back still panting heavily. He leaned up and cupped my face kissing me softly, my eyes slipped closed as the kiss got more and more passionate. I leaned back against the bed, he followed and I pushed my hands in between our bodies with much difficulty and began undoing Sasukes belt clumsily, ripping it off and throwing it somewhere in the moonlit room. I started on his trousers fumbling with the buttons momentarily groaning as Sasuke sucked on my tongue encouraging me to go faster, I finally popped open the buttons and yanked down his zipper. In reward Sasuke sucked on my tongue again before pulling away and shimmying off his trousers. He reached out and began rubbing my throbbing erection through my boxers, making me growl. In response to my growl he began palming my erection hard but slow.

"S'uke, don't tease!" I moaned squeezing my eyes shut.

"You like it really." He murmured huskily in my ear before biting it softly making me moan.

But he began to slowly remove my boxers, making sure to slow down so they brushed roughly against the heated sensitive skin of my aching erection. When they were pulled all the way off, he moved his torture back up my body and I gazed at him light headed, he smirked and moved forward; to whisper huskily in my ear again.

"On your hands and knees." His hot breath caressed the shell of my ear making my whole body pulse with heat.

I obliged to his wishes and got on my hands and knees, my whole body was shaking with anticipation, it had been too long since we'd had sex, our last meeting was cancelled when Sakura decided to surprise him at work and take him for dinner. I was jolted from my thoughts as I felt something hot and wet against my ass. I turned awkwardly and watched as Sasukes spread my cheeks before lowering his head and licking the tight ring of muscle which was now exposed. I gasped and my body shook harder as he licked around my entrance over and over, before he suddenly thrust his tongue inside me. I moaned loudly and my arms gave out, my ass being held up my Sasuke, I nuzzled my face in the sheets below trying to stifle the screams and he continued to thrust his tongue in and out, mimicking what he was soon going to do soon, with a much larger organ. I couldn't take anymore, I could feel the heat pooling in my stomach, twisting like a coil ready to spring.

"Sasuke! I'm going to cum!" I screamed into the sheets, making him immediately halt his actions, his tongue still deep inside me.

He swirled his tongue inside me one last time before letting go of my ass making me fall, sprawled across the bed face down and panting. He gently pulled my shoulder so I turned on my back; I was painfully hard and just needed him inside me right now. I couldn't take anymore teasing or foreplay, it was a miracle I'd lasted this long. He settled in between my legs once more, before leaning over to the bedside table and taking the cherry lube from the top draw. He removed his boxer swiftly throwing them somewhere then he poured a good amount of lube on his erection, moaning at the cold against his heated skin. He poured some on his fingers and moved them towards my entrance before I grabbed his wrist.

"No. No prep, I can't wait anymore!" I cried hopelessly, we'd done this so many times, I was used to him inside me, and sure, it always hurt at first prep or no prep.

We fit together perfectly though so the pain soon went away. He threw me a disapproving look but wiped his fingers around my entrance before lining himself up. He threw me a 'are you ready?' look and I nodded vigorously, the anticipation killing me. He thrust in fast and hard and I gasped in pain my eyes closing as a few tears slipped from them, I took deep breaths and Sasuke wiped the tears and kissed every piece of available skin. I opened my eyes as the pain eased off and nodded, laying my arms on his shoulders. He pulled out and thrust back in and I gasped in both pain and pleasure.

"God Naru, you're so tight! Nngh!" he moaned fairly loudly.

He pulled out slowly and then thrust back in setting a slow pace, each thrust ebbing away the pain, I clutched at his shoulders as his thrusts became slightly faster. He was doing it on purpose, Sasuke was a huge tease. I moved my hands to his hair as he continued his thrusts, agonizingly slow.

"Nhhuh! Sasuke! Please!" I fisted his hair, pulling it hard, he moaned low and gruff.

I always knew he was a masochist, mmm; I'd have to use that later. He smirked and stared directly into my eyes as he thrust directly into my prostate. I threw my head back in a silent scream and squeezed my eyes closed so hard it hurt. He began thrusting faster and harder every time hitting my prostate dead on, I thrust back and soon we were moving against each other in perfect sync. I was so lost in the bliss I couldn't tell my moans from his, my arms were raking down his back, there'd be claw marks, and I'd probably made him bleed. It only seemed to increase his pleasure.

"S'uke! Harder!" I screamed feeling my climax approaching, I was clawing violently at his back and I could feel the blood pooling under my nails.

His thrusts became erratic, fast and hard, I could feel the spring curl tight in my stomach ready to burst and my eyes were tightly closed ready for it. Sasuke moaned my name loud and huskily, it was rough like diamonds but smooth like silk, as he came against my prostate. This pushed me over the edge and I screamed his name louder than before, the spring releasing and the stars appearing behind my lids. I felt his weight fall on me, but I was too high to notice. I opened my eyes as the pleasure subsided and he pulled out and rolled off me to lay by my side. We were both panting heavily, our bodies shining with sweat in the moonlight, his eyes were still closed but he entwined our fingers. I turned my head away from him as sadness washed over me.

A single tear slipped from my eye, I couldn't ever enjoy the afterglow of the amazing sex with him because now it was over, he had to get back to her. Soon he'd pull his hand from mine, redress, kiss me and lie to me before leaving to go and sleep with her. I was just his bit on the side. I rubbed my cheek against the bedding wiping any residue of the tear away before turning to look at him once more. He was watching me intently with those beautiful onyx eyes, I smiled at him but it was forced and false, he didn't seem to notice that though.

"Why do you always do that?" He asked, confusion lurking in the depths of his eyes.

"Do what?" I asked, praying he hadn't noticed my pathetic sadness.

"Turn your head away from me after we've had sex?" He stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh. I'm not sure. I didn't realise I did." I lied flawlessly looking down at myself, unable to lie to him when I looked at him.

My body was covered in fresh hickeys, I wish I could call them love bites but they weren't a product of love, I always had trouble explaining them when they were occasionally spotted, I couldn't tell anyone about me and him. They'd call me stupid, tell me he'd never leave her for me and they were right, but having some of him is better than having none. He didn't press the point any further; he seemed satisfied with my lie. He got up, breaking our linked hands and searched the room for his clothes; I slipped inside the sheets of the bed, feeling the cold now his body heat had left. While he redressed I turned on my side and stared out the window, the only source of light in the room, the stars were twinkling away as always. Everything was as it always is, I searched for a shooting star, I needed a miracle. I was drawn from my star gazing as Sasuke sat on the bed next to me, his body blocking the window from my view. He was now fully dressed and looked perfectly presentable, it was only a matter of minutes before he would leave and I'd be all alone again to cry myself to sleep trying to convince myself he loves me like he says he does.

I looked up at him and he smiled at me as he ran his hand through my unruly hair, I nuzzled back into his hand. I sat up as he removed his hand, letting the sheets pool at my waist.

"I have to go." He stated as he stared into my eyes.

"I know." I replied sadly staring back at his once again emotionless onyx orbs.

"I love you baby." He whispered as he cupped my cheeks, moving forward to press a gentle kiss to my forehead then my eyelids, one at a time, down to my nose, each corner of my lips and finally he pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

He never used my name when he said he loved me. I figure that way he can imagine I'm her and of course when he dumps me he can claim he never actually said he loved me. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, I was at breaking point, this has been going on for just over 6 months now and I can't take much more. I never let my emotions get like this in front of him before. And I couldn't let him see them now. So I closed my eyes and kissed back softly, willing away the all too familiar prickling sensation overwhelming my eyes. When he pulled back I kept my eyes closed, even when his hands moved from cupping my face. I hate how soft he is with me, he acts like he knows how fragile I really am, I wonder if he knows just how close to breaking point I am.

"I love you more." I whispered, afraid if I raised my voice any louder it would crack and shake.

I opened my eyes and stared at him as he smiled softly, emotion shining in those twinkling eyes once more.

"Impossible." He whispered back, his voice smooth like silk.

My heart fluttered at the word but I knew it would only hurt even more when he contradicted his words and left, left for her. I turned my head away and lay down.

"I'll see you Friday okay?" He spoke like we were talking about the weather, not him arranging another date to cheat on his girlfriend and use his best friend.

"Bye S'uke." I murmured and nodded before burying my head in the pillow I was cuddling, which smelt of him and me, but mainly him.

This wasn't have things usually went. I usually shoved on my boxers and some trousers or pyjama bottoms and walked him to the door, kissed him goodbye while I begged him in my head to stay. We usually went more than one round. Usually I stand at the door in whatever weather and watch him drive away, then just stare after his car, before heading inside and curling up in bed to cry myself to sleep. I could only hope he'd just ignore my strange behaviour and leave.

"I can see your losing your stamina." he joked.

I peeked out from the pillow as his weight left the bed, stalked to the door way, in his usual I'm-better-than-you manner and turned, his eyes and face void of any emotion as he spoke his parting words.

"Bye Naruto." They were whispered and if I hadn't have peeked out from my pillow I wouldn't have heard them.

Then he just walked off, everything in the house was silent, all I could hear were his footsteps. Down the hall, down the steps, across the hall, the soft click of the door opening, him leaving, the soft click of the door closing, nothing, his car engine, fading, nothing. Nothing. Nothing. That's when I loosened my grip on the pillow and the tears began to spill out. My heart was torn open again and sobbed loudly and hopelessly.

Was it really that hard for him to just leave her? He told me he loved me, said he'd leave her for me, told me I was his world and I believed him. I love him. He loves me. He does. He promised me he does. Why would he bother if he doesn't? Maybe I'm just a hobby, maybe he's sleeping with loads of people, maybe he tells them what he tells me? The worst part is it used to be me and you. What changed? You hated her, absolutely loathed her! It should have been me, I could make you happy. I've always been there; I've always made you happy. It's so hard to hide it, when we're all together, in public we're best friends like always. But it's so hard to act like I'm not head over heels for you. I can't do it anymore, it hurts so much. More than anything I've ever felt before and I've gone through some vicious beatings. I just want you for myself. I love you. Why do you do this to me!?

By the time I had got all my bottled up emotions off my chest, hours had passed. I had tossed and turned, screamed and cried. It was late, well early; the sky was lightening up outside, the stars fading into the light. My throat was raw and scratchy, my eyes were tight and it hurt to keep them open, my hands hurt from being curled so tightly into fists for so long and my whole body ached, I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I lay there staring out the window, watching as the night turned to day. I watched the sun rise, the dark night sky turning to a soft pink and orange sky, which turned slowly to a vivid blue. I didn't hear my alarm clock go off, nor did I hear someone knock at my door or my phone ring. I just lay there, staring out the window in a trace like state.

When I finally managed to tear my eyes away from the window I realised how long I'd lay there for. Checking my alarm clock it was 12.35 in the afternoon. I picked up my mobile and flipped it open, 2 missed calls, both from work, they'd called at 9am and 9.30am. Shit. I dialled back as I sat up, wincing in pain, caused by last night's activities.

"Hello Naruto nice of you to finally call back." I heard Ino chime down the phone. "Are you going to be coming in at all today?" her tone turned cocky.

"I'm, erm" I sounded like hell, my voice was almost completely gone and my throat was dry as.

"Whoa, Naru, are you okay?" She asked in a softer tone.

Over the years Ino had gotten over her Sasuke obsession and had grown to like Shikamaru . Our relationship had blossomed and she has become like a big sister to me, she was the only one who knew about me and Sasuke. She knew why I had called in sick yesterday, which was the reason she sounded so cocky earlier. She didn't nag me to stop seeing him, she simply said to me when I first told her, 'Naru, he's going to break your heart, please, don't do this to yourself' I ignored her. She was right though, he breaks my heart every time he walks away after we have mind blowing sex.

"Erm," I cleared my throat trying to make my voice sound less raspy and broken. "No, I've not slept and I think I'm," I coughed rather violently and cleared y throat again. "Losing my voice and stuff."

I heard her sigh on the other side of the phone as I hobbled on shaky legs to my chest of drawers.

"Look, grab some ramen then get some sleep. I'm coming over after work and don't worry about the boss, I'll tell her how sick you are, you hardly ever have days off, so she'll be okay with it." She sounded worried but authoritive at the same time.

"'Kay." I said as I slipped on new boxers and some sweat pant bottoms from my chest of drawers.

"And Naruto?" She said her voice very serious now.

"Yeah?" I replied closing the draw.

"Please. Please. Just stop." She sounded so desperate and sad, it made my heart ache.

"I can't. Bye." I whispered hanging up before she could say anything else.

I threw my phone on my bed and hobbled down the stairs slowly, my body was tired, from last night's events and the lack of sleep. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and hobbled to the door, picking up the mail. I bent down and groaned in pain, grabbed the mail and hobbled on the kitchen. I dropped the mail on the counter and grabbed an instant ramen from the cupboard before sticking on the kettle for boiling water. I leaned against the counter top and grabbed the mail flicking through. Bill, advertisement, new restaurant, advertisement, bank statement, pretty envelope. I picked up the expensive looking envelope and opened it up to find a lavish looking wedding invite. Ohh. I wonder whose getting married. I bet its Kiba and Hinata, they've been talking about it for ages! Opening it up and staring at the names my whole body went rigid.

The envelope slipped from my fingers and fluttered, like my heart when he smiled, gracefully to the floor, floating slowly. It landed face up, so the names still screamed out to me. My whole world shattered around me, the kettle clicked off behind me and the house phone rang, but none of it registered in my brain. All I could understand was the words on that card, which seemed to torment me, enjoy his pain. So it was all a lie. I feel to the floor, my body finally giving in on me, my world faded to black as I hit the floor but the words seemed to be engraved behind my eyes lids.

Dear

Naruto Uzumaki.

You're invited to

Sakura Haruno & Sasuke Uchiha 's

Wedding!

We'd be honoured if you'd be

Sasukes Best man.

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	3. Chapter Two

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"Hey, Naru. Naru?" The soft voice beckoning me from my sweet unconsciousness called.

I murmured and rolled over on the soft floor... wait, soft floor? When did I move from the floor? I cracked opened an eye and came face to face with the edge of my bed and Inos face lingering near it, slightly startled a jolted fully awake. I rubbed the sleep from my sore tender eyes and quickly scanned the room.

"What am I doing here? What time is it? Why are you here?" I tried to say but it came out hoarse and croaky, I only hope she could understand me.

"Erm, about 5.30, I'm sorry for waking you! I made me and you some dinner and, I, I got an invite too, I'm so sorry!" She squeaked I'd hardly ever seen Ino nervous she was always so confident and sure of herself, sometimes aggressive, but never nervous and quiet.

"Oh, yeah." I mumbled. "It's, erm, god, I don't know what it is Ino. C'mon we can talk and eat." I sighed loudly moving my hands to rub at my temples.

"Okay!" She chimed grabbing my hand and practically flying down the stairs, back to her normal attitude.

I stumbled after her, she stopped in the dining room and I settled in my usual chair while she settled in the chair opposite. We ate in silence, Ino obviously waiting for me to start explaining, but I didn't know where to start.

"I'm sorry for worrying you." I cleared my throat and gulped down some water trying to sooth my raw throat which felt like it was being ripped to pieces by razor blades every time I spoke.

"Oh forget me! How're you? Did he not even tell you? Why didn't you make it into work? Why do you look like you've died and come back to life? Did he come over last night? Did he do something to hurt you? Pftt, when does he not do anything to hurt you!?" She was practically growling after she'd bombarded me with questions.

"I'm, well, I'm, gosh, I was, Ugh we'll come to that later. Of course he didn't tell me, he didn't even tell me they were engaged! So he obviously did something to hurt me, but I just couldn't be normal today," I laughed humourlessly and stared at the glass in my hands.

"Awwh, Naru, what happened?" She asked her dainty hand covering one of mine, a small, sad smile crossed over my face as I looked up at her.

A comforting smile spread across her face and she squeezed my hand, her eyes were watching my like a hawk, analysing every little detail, every move. I sighed loudly and turned my hand in hers, so we were properly holding hands and swallowed loudly before answering.

"Well, I was at my limit anyway, you know he cancelled our last meeting and the meeting before, I hadn't seen him in that way in too long and I was sick of being his bit on the side, it hurts every time he leaves. But then he came and I, I don't know, everything got too much afterwards. I nearly started crying when he said he loved me, I just wanted him to stay. I've stopped telling myself it's true and started telling myself it's a lie, but it's better than nothing. But when he left last night: as usual, I completely broke. I just couldn't stop. When I finally stopped screaming and crying it was early morning, then I like, I don't know, it was like I was in a trance, I just sat and watched the sky change. I don't know how long for, but I didn't hear my alarm or my phone when you'd called. When I finally got up I trekked down here and started making some ramen when I found, _it._ I don't know what happened I think everything just gave up on me. I was exhausted." I sighed and moved one of my hands; the one Ino wasn't holding to cover my eyes, my throat really hurt after all that talking.

"Oh baby! That's awful! How could he be so heartless!?" She exclaimed outraged while squeezing my hand in a comforting gesture.

"Naru, does he know how you feel?" She asked softer this time.

"Does he know? It's obvious Ino! You know me, he can read my like an open book. And of course I've told him once, when this all started about six months ago, I begged him to leave her and be with me." I whisper moving my hand from my face and dropping it back onto the table.

"Look, you need some time to absorb all this, when are you supposed to see him again?" She asked letting go of my hands and picking up our empty plates before placing them in the sink.

"Erm, tomorrow I think." I too rose from the table and followed as Ino wandered off into the living room.

"Well, you need some more rest and time to figure this all out. So I'm going to call your aunt and get you a fake doctors note, so that you know the boss won't bitch, I'll make it for yesterday, tomorrow and Friday okay? And call me tomorrow or the day after, if you need me I'll be right here okay?" She always acted like a big sister or a mother would in these tender situations, it was nice it made me feel loved.

"Okay. Thanks Ino." I smiled scratching the back of my neck sheepishly.

"No problem! Now off to bed with you, c'mon!" She grabbed my hand once more and dragged me up the stairs this time and into my room.

"You get some sleep, I've restocked your cupboards and there's some spare blankets in the boiler cupboard, also I need your washing and ironing and put them away. Gosh, I feel like your mother. But everything's done so you can rest happily." She rambled on as I got into bed and laid there on my back just staring at the ceiling.

"What are you going to do?" She asked reluctantly as she perched on the bed next to me.

"Honestly? I have no idea, I don't want to end things with him, I love him and I don't know if I could build up enough courage to stop this well I suppose it's now an affair. It's quite clear he'd rather be with her. So maybe I'll tell him to choose. Her or me, you can't have your cake and eat it too." This all sounded too depressing, I could hear how sad I sounded but I couldn't change it.

"What if he chooses her?" Ino asked barely above a whisper.

"I'll be heartbroken." I stated simply because in all honesty I don't know what I'd do.

"Well, you get some rest." She whispered as she leaned down and placed a kiss to my scarred cheek.

I nodded and closed my eyes and felt my mind drifting off into the land of dreams were anything could happen.

_It was dark, so very, very dark like the depths of the deepest ocean, there was a young man, sitting in a dimly lit area of the darkness. I cautiously approached him, my footsteps making so sound as I walked on heaven knows what. When I was a mere metre and a half away, I inspected him closely, he had smooth looking porcelain skin, it was almost translucent, he had black hair which had hidden tints of blue lurking in it. His knees were pulled to his chest, his arms crossed over them, keeping them in place while his face laid buried deep in those arms. He wore dark black jeans and a white t-shirt, all plain, he looked so very average. All of a sudden his head shot up to look at me, so fast, as if I had burned him. That's when I saw his face, that beautiful, familiar face, Sasuke. _

_His Hair wasn't perfectly styled as it usually was, it was ruffled as if he had been running his hands through it all day long and his bangs fell in his face. His usually onyx emotionless eyes were shimmering crimson, like blood, they called to me, screamed almost, they showed the lost lonely little boy which hid behind his usually cocky confident exterior. His temples and cheeks were smudged and smeared with crimson, ruining the perfect flawless skin, the crimson was wet, the crimson was blood. His bottom lip was bleeding, it held the indentation of his teeth, it looked as though he had almost bit straight through it, probably in frustration or attempt to regain control of himself. His body seemed to now shake and his eyes were fixed upon me, wide, with fear and shock, he looked like a child caught with their hands deep inside the cookie jar. Why? I wasn't sure._

_He gracefully rose from his position on the floor and stood towering mere inches above me, his expression shifted to sadness and pain. His white shirt was smeared with blood, hand prints, like he had wiped his bloody hands all over it. Upon inspecting his hands I found them covered in blood, crimson red hiding away the porcelain skin below. If there was blood on his jeans it went unseen, travelling further down his body to his feet, I discovered he was bare foot too; the soles of his feet were coated in blood. Behind him there were foot prints previously hidden by his position on the floor. The light which shone on him flickered as one of those bloodied hands reached out to me; I was frozen as the hand caressed my cheek, leaving a warm trail of blood in its wake. The hand then dropped to mine and clutched it like you would clutch a grenade without its pin, like your life depended on it. I stared down at our hands, mine now too coated in blood and purely acting upon what I felt, my fingers laced with his and I squeezed his hand in a gesture of comfort. _

_The light shining on him flickered and then died out, before relighting further ahead, I stay still as a statue, his hand was still latched to mine and that's all my mind could focus on. His hand was sticky and warm with blood and sweat, I was almost glad I wouldn't see our stained hands. I couldn't help but wonder whose blood it was, for I had thoroughly inspected every detail on him and found no injuries, big or small. Suddenly his hand tugged mine, moving me forward, I could only go with it; I knew not where I was after all. We ventured towards the light up ahead and as we approached I could make out something in the middle of the light, a dark spot, with bloody footprints headed away from it. In my mind I was screaming for it to be anything but a body and I almost turned and ran away in fear that it would be my own. After all I made no sound as I walked and I was lost in this strange world. _

_When we finally reached the light his hand feel from mine and he walked backwards into the light, all the time facing me, when he stood behind the dark object in the light he beckoned me forward with his hand. I feared going into the light, what I would see when I entered scared me, be it both what the object happened to be and what I looked like in the light. Here in the dark I was unknown and safe, stepping into the light meant becoming known and knowing myself, I wasn't sure I was ready for that. Looking into those pleading eyes though, decided for me, I took a step into the light but I focused solely on his beckoning eyes, it was like he had some kind of control over my movements, as it he could persuade me to do anything he wished. When I stood in front of the dark object I dare not look down at it, I stayed focused on those eyes, but they pleaded with me to look down. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before looking down, what I saw took my breath away, it was completely unexpected. _

_There on the floor lay a pair of black wings, the feathers around the edge of them tinted with crimson. They looked battered and damaged not only that but they were splatter and smeared and dipped in blood, under them lay a pool of blood. Around the pool was splatter and drops a small gasp spilt past my lips, the first noise I had heard since arriving in this place. I stared up at Sasuke, knowing the shock, confusion and sadness would show clear as day in my huge cerulean eyes. He stared back a tear rolled down his cheek, only it was no normal tear, Sasuke was crying crimson blood. In that moment I heard the most deafening silence known in existence, the atmosphere was so hopeless, so depressing it made my heart ache and my stomach turn uncomfortably. Almost in slow motion Sasuke turned his back to me and I gasped so hard I stumbled back slightly, before regaining my posture and taking a few ginger steps forward. There in slightly below the centre of his back was a bloody mess, the flesh ripped, slashed and torn, blood seeping all over, no clear sign of where the injury had first been inflicted. The skin was torn straight off and now there laid an open wound in its place. _

_Sasuke was my beautiful, sinful, fallen angel which had been stripped of its wings. _

_Cautiously and shyly I reached towards the injury, just to feel, to reassure it was real. The moment my fingertips brushed the skin a scream of absolute pure pain ripped through the air, the sound of ultimate pain, the sound only a scorned angel would make. At the same time imaged flashed through my head, images of Sasuke, images which would haunt me forever. Sasuke, stood in the middle of a room dark wings spread behind him, his hands chained so they hung in the air above him, his head bowed, hair hiding his face, his clothes torn and tattered, his skin ripped, peeled and torn. The next, the same scene only this time he was looking at me, his lips sewn shut with dark black thread, his eyes red, and bleeding heavily, the blood seeping down his face. Yet even through all the blood they screamed for help, salvation, they screamed their sadness. The next was him curled as tight as possible in a ball, in the corner of somewhere dark, with hard stone walls, he was surrounded by nothingness. The torture of loneliness, left with his own insanity to rot away. The next was Sasuke in the same scene as the second image, instead he no longer hung limply from the chains he was strained leaning towards me, this time though, he had no eyes only gaping endlessly holes which were seeping blood, in them I saw the horrors of the world. _

_I jumped back from him, I was panting and sweating, though the images seemed to last forever it had only been mere seconds since I brushed his skin. I turned from him and ran into the darkness, I ran and ran and ran and just kept running until I couldn't run anymore. He could of been following me it was silent again and I fell to the floor, pressed up against its cold smooth surface before closing my eyes and fading away._

I woke up seating and panting, I quickly sat up, shit. That was one of the worse dreams I'd ever had. Ugh I needed to stop being so emo. It wasn't healthy. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to wipe away the images of tortured angels burned into the back of my eyelids before rolling off the bed and grabbing a towel. I walked to my en suite and turned on the shower, as hot as it would go before stripping off my clothes and throwing them in to the bedroom. I shut the door and avoided looking in the mirror, once the shower was hot enough I jumped in. The shower was the place I did most of my thinking, the steam seemed to clear my head and the hot water relaxed my muscles. I didn't really want to think though. I stood under the faucet with my eyes closed and my head leaned back and my mind went ahead and thought about today anyway. Today will be the worst day of my life, I, well I don't know. I don't know how I'm going to end this, if I'll even be strong enough to end it. Maybe I should tell Sakura? I mean, she has a right to know, I'm supposed to be a best friend to both of them and look at how I've betrayed her friendship. Gosh. I don't know.

I picked up the shampoo and leaned away from the shower of warm droplets while pouring a hefty amount into my palm. I put the bottle back and massaged the shampoo into my hair hoping to ease off the oncoming head I could feel gathering at the back of my skull. I should have never started this stupid relationship with him, it was a stupid idea and now I have to pay for it. I really am a Dobe. I groaned as I leaned my head back under the stream of water again and washed the shampoo out of my hair. I had gotten myself into such a mess and all because I was selfish. And I couldn't let Sakura and Sasuke be happy together. I lathered up some soap and scrubbed myself as I continued on my pain inflicting thought process. It had started out as just a stupid mistake!

(Flashback)

_Sasukes arm around my waist was pretty much the only thing holding me up as we stumbled home, my arm lay around his shoulder and we were leaning into each other. The walk, if you could call it that, to my apartment was full of drunken laughter and stupid comments, when we finally reached my door it took me ages to try and find my key. In the end Sasuke pushed me against the door and used one hand to support himself on the door next to my head and the other to fumble in my pockets for my key. When he found it and looked up he seemed to notice our close proximity and as his eyes met mine something seemed to jolt through me. I felt nervous and licked my dry lips watching as his cloudy half lidded eyes fell upon my shining wet lips which were slightly open. Then he looked back at me this time with lust lurking in his eyes and I felt my own eyes drop half lidded with lust, the alcohol probably had something to do with it but I wasn't thinking at that point. _

_His hand which was holding the key joined his hand on the door, on the other side of my head blocking me in. But then suddenly the hand without the key moved to my face and cupped my cheek, his thumb then brushed lightly over my lip, before tracing both lips completely, throughout this I watched his face, he looked completely transfixed. Then his thumb left my lips and was replaced by his own lips. My heart was hammering in my chest and my face became hot and flushed. I had no clue how to react but when his tongue plunged in between my parted lips and rubbed against my own instinct took over. I lifted my arms and slung them around his neck enthusiastically ,pushing up onto my tiptoes to pull him closer to me, my tongue joining his in a battle for dominance. As the sensual battle raged on his hands slipped from my face and ran down my sides. I shuddered and submitted completely to him, laying my feet flat on the ground and tilting my head further back so he had more room to explore my mouth. He towered over me slightly and for some reason that sent a thrill through me, the way he could cover me with his body and completely dominate me sent electric shocks straight to my groin. _

_Hs scent was enticing me further, my hazy drunken mind becoming even hazier when consumed by his touches, his scent, his breath, those sinful lips and forbidden words. _

_(End flashback)_

The rest of the night was a blur, small parts I remember, images of Sasuke fucking me over the sofa, then in the bed. The sinful kisses with made me melt. The way when he was close he wouldn't cry out or warn me verbally like most lovers would, he'd just rub his nose and lips against the sensitive skin on my neck before biting down hard as he came. The way he was strong enough to carry me from the sofa to the bed while I was dead weight, still in after glow. The morning after was both heaven and hell, waking up to Sasuke was amazing but the realisation of our situation wasn't. Sure, I'd been in love with Sasuke for a long time, but I had never planned to act on it. I sighed loudly as I shut of the water and grabbed one of the towels from the shelves, before wrapping it loosely around my waist. I grabbed another smaller towel and rubbed it in my hair, drying the mused up locks of golden hair. I strolled over to my room and my dresser, grabbing some orange boxers with ramen bowls on, a pair of loose grey jogging bottoms and an over sized black tank top. I threw them all on and ditched the towels on the floor. Now to face the rest of today, oh what a joyous occasion.

I slumped on the sofa and yanked the blanket hung over the back off and draped it over my body, not because I was cold, just purely for comfort. Switching on the telly I browsed channels before stopping on some chick flick, about some pathetic woman caught between two men, which she loved she couldn't decide so they both had to suffer her lying. About an hour and a half later when the movie had finished there were tears in my eyes, the movie reflected things so well. Sasuke was the pathetic woman and me and Sakura were the two men, in the end she chose the more handsome, richer, generally better off man. This would be Sakura in my life. The next chick flick began, damn, why did they have to have a marathon on today!?I'd never felt so miserable. I need to do something, keep my mind active and stop watching these pathetic movies but I just can't force myself to get up from the sofa or tear my eyes from the screen. I pulled the blankets closer around me and sighed as I watched mesmerised as Tanya lay in Bruce's arms, she was dying, but he didn't know that yet. Oh cruel fate!

Four chick flicks, six portions of ramen and 1 tub of ice cream later I was wiping at my eyes in the kitchen, finally forcing myself to turn off the telly. Wandering back into the living room the click of my door being unlocked caught my attention, making me stop dead in my tracks to stare at the door. I could feel how wide my eyes were and how tense my body was, I desperately fought with myself and forced on an emotionless mask, my body relaxed, my eyes at normal size, my heart beating slower. Perfect. I was going to be able to do this, okay, just tell him how you feel, breathe. When the bastard came into view he had the fucking nerve to smirk at me before making his way over and going to place a kiss on my slightly parted lips.

Of course he was met with a punch straight to the cheek before his lips could reach mine. How fucking dare he!?

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	4. Chapter Three

**So yeah, I bet this doesn't go how you thought it would (:  
As usual, thank you very much for the reviews I appreciate them muchly. **  
**If You leave a really good one I'll devote a chapter to you. :D**

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"What the fuck Naru!?" He shouted, rubbing at his cheek which was turning red from the force of the blow.

"Every time you touch me I feel so fucking dirty. I can't do this anymore!" I shouted back anger bubbling to the surface, this situation would be dealt with better if I was calm, but I just, ugh, I just couldn't calm down.

"Why are you changing your mind now!? We've been like this for so long! And now you decide that my touches are dirty? What the fuck, really?" He was practically growling now, his tone of voice low and dangerous.

The worst part was in his eyes I could see the hurt as he spoke of his touches making me dirty, I wanted to believe I was just a game to him, that he doesn't really want me, I'm just a good fuck, nothing at all important to him, but the look in his eyes, made that alll so hard ot believe.

"You've made your choice already sasuke, this wasn't my decison it was yours." The anger seemed to bubble away and my voice turned softer as i stared at his fierce onyx eyes, hiding all his emotions again.

"What are you talking about baby? I love you. I don't want us to separate." He walked over, so there was only centimetres between out bodies and cupped my face with his hands.

He looked to sincere that for a moment I almost lost my resolve and believed him, his eyes seemed to have a softed touch to them and his features contorted into a mix of love and hurt. I took a step away from him and he looked hurt before quickly masking it again with that emotionless look he wore so well. I walked into the living room and over to the coffee table, his footsteps following, stopping a little distance away from where I stood. I leaned down and picked up the wedding invitation which lay there, my hands shook as they held it and tears burned at the back of my eyes as I read it once more before handing it to him. I was unable to look up as he took it from me. A pregnant silence settled over us and then he threw the invite to the side, I watched as it fluttered to the floor as gracefully as it had the day it arrived.

"This means nothing to me, it's just a stupid title, I don't love her anymore because of it, I love you just the same." He whispered as he grabbed both of my shaking hands and held them in his own.

"It means something to me Sasuke! It means that you have signed a contract promising to love her! And I just don't feel right being the thing that stands in the way of that love. It's not right Sasuke!" I shouted looking at him with a full force glare in place, rage bubbled inside me.

"It doesn't mean anything to me; it's just a title Naru. I don't believe in god anyway, so it's not a proper bond anyway." He growled softly, squeezing my hands lightly.

Okay, so maybe I should approach this differently, less rage, more calm.

"So, if we got married, would it matter then?" I asked, staring at his eyes, determined to pick out if he was lying or not.

"Of course it would. Because **I love you**! I don't love her." He sounded exasperated.

"I bet you tell her the exact same thing." I whispered as I removed my hands from his and lowered my head to look at the floor.

I closed my eyes as tight as I could, trying to fight back the tears which wanted to spill from them, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me break down like this, get a hold of yourself Naruto, for Kami's sake.

"Where is this going Naru? Are you leaving me baby?" he asked, his hand moving to hold my chin.

He tilted my face upwards so he could see my expression but I kept my eyes closed. I refuse to open them until I regained full control over my emotions. A heavy silence over came us as he waited for my answer and I calmed myself. He broke the silence first.

"I love you; I don't want us to end." He sounded sincere, but it was too late for this if that were true he would not be with her.

"Then leave her and be with me." I whispered in return opening my eyes even though they were still overly wet and wide.

"Please Sasuke, I love you. Please!" I was practically begging, yes I'd stooped as low as begging.

When I received no reply and he simply avoided my eyes looking everywhere but my face I set my jaw and took a deep breath.

"Choose then. I'm not going to wait for you forever. Today this all ends, you either choose to be with her and we aren't anything anymore, or you choose to be with me and you end it with Sakura." I spoke in the most serious voice I could, my jaw set, no negotiating on this.

He turned to look at me, my serious voice probably catching his attention.

"I can't." He whispered and he almost looked pained.

Everything stopped, I felt sick and confused and overwhelmed.

"You're actually choosing her?" My voice sounded foreign, my heart was pounding in my chest, it felt like it would rip through my ribcage, the pounding was deafening.

He couldn't meet my eyes, I exhaled shakily, I hadn't realised I'd been holding my breath. My heart shattered as the silence dragged on. This was it the confirmation, he had chosen her; he had never even had any intention of leaving her. I felt too much, I was so hurt and confused, yet relieved it was over and I had a confirmation, I was happy but heartbreakingly sad. Something seemed to snap in me and I lost it.

"What was I to you in all of this!? Just a good fuck!? Or just some toy you played with when you were bored!? Or was this just another one of those fucked up mind games of yours!? Huh Sasuke!?" I was screaming fever pitch as I grabbed his collar and shoved him against the wall, he wince as his head made contact with the solid surface behind him, but I didn't care, he'd hurt me now I'd hurt him.

"Has everything you've said to me just been to sweeten me up so you could get in my pants!? Huh!? To see how far you could push me before I broke!?" My hands slipped from his collar to his chest, my anger fading and the sadness over whelming.

"What happened to I love you, you're the only thing I live for! You're all I get up in the morning for! You sick bastard! This is all just a big game to you isn't it!? I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I was pounding on his chest with white knuckled fists, my voice sounding like I was trying to convince myself more than him.

And in truth I was.

"You've broken everything I was! Look at me! I don't have anything anymore. I gave up everything for you. Everything. What a big stupid mistake, I'm so stupid to think you could actually love someone like me!" Shouting faded to whispering and my hands stilled on his chest, he was still unresponsive as I leaned my forehead against his chest also.

The fight had disappeared from me, I was completely spent. My head and heart hurt. As the haze faded, my awareness heightened, I could feel the scorching trails of tears on my face and the warmth bubbling around my lips as I was biting hard at my bottom lip. Everything in the world stilled as my breathing calmed and I just stood there, I couldn't feel anything anymore. Numbness had consumed me.

"I hope she's worth it. I hope you're happy together. I actually do." I whispered as I leaned up on my tip toes and kissed his lips for the last time.

It wasn't anything spectacular, fireworks didn't go off, passion wasn't leaking through us, it was just a kiss. Full of sorrow and goodbye.

The sad truth was; he didn't love me. The even sadder truth was; I was desperately in love with him. And nothing could change either of those things.

They say that you can never love anyone like you love your first love and that no matter how many people you fall in love with afterwards you'll always have a burning love for them, your whole life.

"I was stupid for fall for you but you give me that tingling in my tummy like no one else can. I hate you for making me love you." I whispered I pulled away.

For a moment I stared at him, taking everything in. His eyes were closed and his face was impassive, his jaw rigidly clenched and his skin flawless apart from the bruise forming from my punch. So it didn't matter. There wasn't a speck of emotion on his face, none, just pure impassiveness. He didn't even apologize or say goodbye.

"Go home to your fiancé, Sasuke." I whispered wincing at the word.

And with that I turned and stiffly walked to my bedroom and shut the door behind me, one hand on the handle the other on the back of the door, I rest my forehead against it and let out a sigh. Never in my life had I felt so lost. I just didn't know what to do, what could I do? I just wanted, I don't know, I wanted him to pick me, I wanted him to stay. Despite telling myself he'd choose her, deep down I always thought he'd choose me, after everything he'd said, all the times he had claimed he loved me. I'd wasted so much time.

I just, I don't know, I'd always thought we'd end up together. I'd dreamt of what'd be like just me and him but those dreams were shattered now, everything was wrong. I didn't know anything anymore. It felt as though someone had plucked me from my life, from the world I understood and placed me in a completely foreign world, stripping me of everything I was. My whole body shook and I felt cold all over, I pushed away from the door and on shaky legs clambered over to my bed. I collapsed onto it face down, automatically being surrounded by the comforting smell as I crawled under the layers of blankets and curled up into a tight ball. I don't know what it is about being under blankets, but it just felt so safe, I'd always felt safe under blankets, even as a kid.

The sobs started then, wracking my whole body and they tore from my throat making it horse and dry, I didn't fight them I just let them flow. Ino had always told me it was better to let it all out than bottle it up, so that's what I did, I let it all out. I don't know how long I lay there but when I'd finally calmed down, I was exhausted. I felt numb yet broken, as if something was missing. There wasn't anything I could do though. I'd held on so long to something that was never mine to hold and now I'd let go. I felt well, I don't know what I felt but whatever it was, it was horrible and I didn't want to feel it. I just wanted to feel nothing, just for a little while I wanted to be. So I just lay there in a heap of limps and blankets and waited for sleep to over take me, so I could forget everything and dream up something or somewhere I could just be content with life, because right now the last thing I needed was reality.

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	5. Chapter Four

**Okay,  
So this one has to be dedicated to: TheSarcasticSasukeUchiha. AND Michiyo Inoue.  
Because, well, generally, if I laugh a lot when I first read your review I devote things to you. :'D  
But thank you everyone else also for your lovely, lovely reviews! **

**Also, a song which I found matches this story is 'Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy' Just in case you wanted to listen and read (:  
So yeah, onwards to the actual story!  
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My body was stiff as a board as I came too, my joints aching from being curled so tight, I was still under a mountain on blankets, but I couldn't be bothered to move any of them. I was debating just laying there all day, maybe till someone came along and found me. I could hear the buzzing of my phone vibrating on the night stand and with a loud sigh I fought my way through the blankets and scrambled to answer it. My eyes were tight and sore and I was glad the lights were off and the curtains were drawn.

"Hello?" I answered my voice tight and tired, I sounded broken.

"Naru? You okay?" It was Inos voice, chipper and bright as usual.

"Oh, Ino. What's up?" I asked trying to fuse some fake enthusiasm into my voice but failing miserably.

"You sound weird Naru, what's happen? Are you okay? Did you sort things with Sasuke?" I winced involuntarily at his name.

Inos voice sounded concerned and it had dropped some of its cheeriness.

"I don't want to talk about it over the phone. Sorry." I whispered rubbing my eyes with my free hand while sitting up.

"Oh. Did it go that bad? I'll pop over after work, okay? I'll bring some of your favourite ramen for dinner, okay?" She gushed obvious worry in her tone.

"Okay. I'll see you then." I croaked.

"Try to cheer up; he's not worth the heartache. Only one person in this world deserves your tears and they'll never make you cry." She quoted as usual; they seemed to make her more certain of her words, so each time she tried to console me she quoted something.

"Yeah, yeah. Later." I hung up after that and tossed my phone on the bed next to me.

I swung my legs over the edge and leaned my elbows on my knees while placing my face in my hands. What was I going to do now? I ran my hands up my face and through my hair while taking deep calming breathes. I was an absolute wreck. I just wanted to break down into tears every second, but behind the sadness anger was building. I was so angry that I'd wasted everything on him and that he'd lied to me so frequently and about such serious things.

I got up from the bed and made my way to the bathroom, grabbing a towel on my way. I turned on the faucet and hopped in, I pushed the dial so the water was almost burning. I scrubbed at my skin, trying to wash away his touches; I just wanted to be rid of him and everything that reminded me of him. So I clawed and scrubbed at my skin, it made me feel cleaner, like I really had washed him off me. Then I washed my hair, over and over, making sure to remove his touches from there too. I turned off the faucet and stepped out of the shower. I stared at myself in the full length mirrors on the opposite wall. My body was bright red all over and was bleeding in some places, mainly my inner thighs, my hips and my neck. I couldn't even look myself in the face, I was ashamed of myself, I'd let myself be played by Sasuke.

I rubbed a towel through my hair partially drying it before wrapping it around my waist. I walked back to my room and threw on some clean white boxers, a blue t shirt which was far too big, some grey jogging bottoms and a pair of grey socks before walking to the kitchen and cooking up some ramen. It was like I was on auto pilot, shower, clothes, food, all without feeling, without thought. When I'd eaten I dumped the dishes in the sink and dug out a large empty shoebox from the back of my closet, which I dumped on my bed. Right, now to do the hard part. I had to go around the house and remove everything that reminded me of him. Maybe I should tidy up first.

And so it began, I started in my room, making the bed, piling the dirty clothes, putting things away, organising, folding, sorting, hovering, polishing, dusting, putting all the rubbish in a bin bag, I moved to the living room, then the bathroom, through to the kitchen and onwards until everywhere was clean and tidy. Cleaning was a rarity and something almost foreign to me. I never really had time and when I did have time, I spent it doing something else. I started the dish washer and washing machine before making myself some lunch and a drink. When I had eaten and washed the dishes I set about beginning to remove everything that reminded me of him.

I grabbed the box from the bedroom and placed it on the kitchen counter. The first items to be put in the box were the photos on the fridge, they were of a holiday me, Sasuke and Ino had gone on a while ago, we were quite young. We'd gone to Ibiza and rented a villa by the ocean with its own pool and all that jazz. One of the photos was of us, my arm slung around his shoulders, his around my waist, I was holding the camera above us and sticking my tongue out, my eyes squeezed shut, while Sasuke was smirking at me, looking gorgeous as usual. The second was of us by the pool, the ocean behind us, I held the camera above us and slightly to the side, I had yanked Sasuke over for a picture and snapped it hoping to get him not looking his best, but he had kissed me just before I had snapped the picture and so it was of us kissing, with the pool and the beach and the beautiful sunset behind us. And it broke my heart to look at them, no one ever really came round, I wasn't the best host. I also put the magnets they were held by in the box, they had been from Ibiza too, a frog and a wolf representing myself and Sasuke.

Moving into the living room I knelt and opened the cupboards below the bookshelf and pulled out some photo album an put them in the box too, they contained pictures of everyone, all my friends, but in most of them Sasuke was there. We were best friends and inseparable in the eyes of everyone, even before we became whatever we where. One of the albums I lay on my lap and stared at, afraid to look inside, its cover was red, shiny and invited but inside where all the photos from out holiday with Ino. Many of them were pictures of us Ino had taken secretly, most of the time we were off in own little world, cuddling or talking or laughing. She'd managed to capture the moments when Sasuke let his hair down and forgot about all the troubles from his past and the trouble to come in future and he was just Sasuke. My Sasuke, The Sasuke I had fallen in love with. With tears gathering in my eyes I slipped that one into the box also.

I then took a few items off many surfaces in the room, all of them linked to us in some way. Moving to the bedroom I rummaged through my chest of drawers and closet, and put any clothes of his in a pile next to the box. Then I reached under the bed and put all the items from Sasukes kink fetishes in the box. I picked up the picture frame which stood on the night stand and held it in my hands, just staring at it, for a long time I just stared. Then the anger began to seep through and my knuckles went white where they clutched the frame and small droplets splattered against the glass before it was thrown from the room, into the wall in the living room. The glass shattering on impact, the sound resonating through the whole house as everything fell silent as the grave. Faster than before I packed all the necessary things away before moving the box and the clothes to the back of my closet with all the other things I'd never touch or look at again.

When I was done I walked into the living and sprawled across the sofa with a sad sigh, a little nap wouldn't hurt, cleaning was tiring after all. I yawned and stretched my hands above my head, my shirt riding slightly, showing a slither of tan skin, I lazily ignored it and crossed my arms behind my head. I closed my eyes and relaxed, when suddenly there was a knock at the door. Damn, Ino must be early. I hopped up and sauntered towards the door, while tiredly rubbing at my eyes. I opened the door with a big smile plastered on my face, only for it to drop a moment later when I saw who stood there.

"S-s-sakura?" I stuttered astonished.

"Hey, I've come to help plan Sasukes stag night, as best man it's your job to arrange it and knowing you, you probably didn't know that. Also knowing you, you'll put it off until the last minute," She continued to ramble on as she pushed past me and entered the living room.

I followed her in silence and observed her. She had her scraped back into a messy bun, bits falling into her face and sticking up all over her head, she was wearing too much make up and her outfit looked like she'd got dressed in the dark. She was wearing a blue skirt, if you could call it that, personally I'd call it an elongated belt and a bright red off the shoulder top with a pink cardigan and some grey pump, which she'd slipped off at the door. She was wearing a neck lace with the Uchiha symbol on and she carried messenger bag stuff full of papers and magazines and folders, probably all wedding related, generally she had too much going on with her outfit and it looked terrible. What I found attractive in her so long ago I failed to fathom now. She settled herself on my sofa and put her bag at her feet, she patted the spot next to her as she spoke.

"Alright, lets got started!" She beamed at me, the happiness radiating off her made me want to throw up rainbows.

"I'm not going to your wedding Sakura." I sighed as I leaned against the kitchen door way, slightly to the left of the sofa.

She turned her body towards be, utter shock registering across her features as she took in my words.

"What! Why not!?" She shouted, her expression shifting to anger as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"That's not really important, okay? I can't go, end of." I grit my teeth and closed my mouth tight, as if doing so would help me contain the real reason as to why I wouldn't be attending.

"But you're Sasukes best friend and my best guy friend too! You have to come! That's what best friends do for best friends! We've always been here for you!" She shouted, standing from the sofa and stomping over to me, in what I presume was supposed to be an intimidating manner, it had no effect on me.

"Your best friend!? You treat me like shit Sakura you always have, you've hit me, called me every name under the sun, you're embarrassed and degraded me! You've got some nerve calling me your friend let alone best friend!" I ranted angrily, it wasn't helping anything and it didn't really make me feel any better, if anything, it made me feel worse.

"Look. I'm not going end of, I don't want any part in your wedding." I sighed rubbing my temples, trying to relax again.

"You're just trying to ruin this wedding! You've always been jealous of me and now you're trying to ruin my wedding!" She screamed, shoving my chest.

"Jealous? Of you? Don't be ridiculous." I had to take deep calming breaths to hold back my anger, she was provoking me and she knows I have a short fuse, I wouldn't rise to it she's not worth it.

"Yes, jealous! You've always been jealous that I'm better looking than you! That I'm more popular and likable than you are! That I have more money than you! That Sasuke likes me more than he likes you! And especially that I have a family! Like anyone would want you in their family anyway, I can't blame them for getting rid of you when they had the chance!" She snarled venomously at me, he face, twisted in an expression of disgust.

I couldn't stop myself, by the time I thought about it the back of my hand had already connected with her face and sent her stumbling backwards. She lifted her head and glared at me as she clutched her cheek which was starting to bruise from the force I had used. She looked shocked, very, very shocked.

"Don't you dare. You have no right to talk about me or my family like that." My voice calm out like pure ice, it didn't sound like me.

"Just get out Sakura; I don't want you in my house." My voice once again was dripping with ice, I'd never been this cold with anyone before, but she'd pushed my limits and she'd pushed me over the edge.

She stalked over to her bag and bent down to pick it up, but stopped at I saw her whole body tense up as she stared at something. I cocked my head to the side in confusion and tried to follow her line of sight. Shit. Shit. Shit. My whole body froze as my gazed locked onto what she was staring, Fucckkkkkkk. What to do, what to do. Okay, okay, calm, she might not be looking at that, just play it cool. Relax. Breathe in, out, in out, calm. Of course all that went out the window and my mind went into panic mode as Sakura straightened up, without her bag in hand and headed over to the item in question. Her face was blank with shock, she looked as though she was struggling to form a solid emotion as she leaned down and picked up the item and stared at it in her hands. She clutched it tightly in her hands and I swallowed thickly, the silence seeming suffocating as I watched her waiting for her reaction.

"Naruto." He voice was eerily calm as she raised her head to look at me.

My heart pounded in my chest as my eyes locked with hers. I felt terrible, she looked so desperate in this moment, she wanted me to deny it. She held up the item in her hands, the photo from my night stand, it had come out of the frame when I had thrown it at the wall, she tilted it so I was looking at the image on the photograph paper.

"Are you going to explain?" She asked dryly, trying to not show how hurt she really was about the image but it showed clearly in her eyes.

The photo was one of Inos 'spy' pictures; she'd spent most of the holiday chasing us with the camera trying to catch out 'romantic' and 'saucy' moments. This one was from the beach; we were sat on towels under a couple of parasols, in our swim trunks. I was sat in between Sasukes legs, my legs either side of him and his legs either side of me, our faces level. His hand closest to the camera was entwined with my in between us and his other cupped my cheek, my other hand was resting on his chest. We were staring at each other with smiles on our faces as we rubbed noses in an Eskimo kiss. It was my favourite picture of us, hence why it was framed on my bedside table.

"What is there to explain?" I asked calmly, as if she was drawing accusations unjustly.

"Well, this picture is pretty intense! This photo looks more romantic than any picture of me and Sasuke or any moment me and Sasuke have shared! And we're engaged!" She shouted angrily, even though her eyes were tearing up with sadness.

I walked over to her and plucked the photo from her hands before turning and walking to my bedroom, when I reached the door frame I turned round and stared at her.

"I asked you to leave, I told you, I don't want you in my house." I stated before walking to my bedroom and closing the door and locking it.

"What do you mean leave! Naruto get out here and explain to me! You can't expect me to just walk away after seeing that photo! Naruto! Open this door! Naruto!" She was screaming and pounding on my door, I could hear the hysteria in her voice and yet I couldn't force myself to pity her.

She would never end it with Sasuke, therefore she would be the one he would spend the rest of his life with really, she didn't deserve to act this upset because it was irrelevant, she would stay with him and I wouldn't. What more did she want? I set the photo on the night stand and just stood in the middle of the room, rubbing my temples. Trying to soothe the headache I could feel coming on, Sakura was still sobbing and shouting and banging on the door, only her words were slurred with sobs and I didn't care to work them out.

"Naruto? Sakura? What're you doing here? Are you okay? Oh my gosh, what's wrong?" Shit. Ino.

"You! You knew about this!" Sakura screamed the banging on my door stopped.

I hurried over and unlocked it, this was my fault, not Ino, she shouldn't be the one getting grief because of it.

"Knew about what?" Ino asked, blatantly confused.

"Sakura! Leave Ino out of this!" I stated firmly as Inos eyes shifted from Sakura then to myself and back before igniting with understanding.

"No! We're supposed to be friends! And you knew! And you didn't tell me! How could you do this to me! And how could you do this to me!" She turned and jabbed me in the chest with her finger, tears streaming down her face.

"Sakura, look, I'm sorry." Ino murmured her head down.

"No you're not! You've always been jealous too! I got Sasuke and you didn't! And now! Now, you've helped him hook up with someone else!" She screamed fever pitched at Ino.

"No, it wasn't like that Sakura, honest-" Sakura cut her off mid way through her explanation.

"No, just fuck off. Ugh!" She shouted, before storming over, picking up her bag and storming out, slamming the door as loud as she could behind her.

Ino looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"I feel like a terrible person." She whispered, I opened my arms and she gracefully flew into them, wrapping her lithe arms around me.

I gave her a squeeze as she nuzzled her face in my chest, discreetly wiping the tears on my top.

"Me too." I whispered back.

For a while we just stood there and in all honesty I did feel bad, I felt terrible. It was my fault Sakura knew and now all hell had broken loose. The fact it had happened in the first place made me a bad person though to be honest. God. People have issues.

"Look, how about, we have that ramen you brought, find a movie, have popcorn and ice cream, not together obviously," I joked and Inos dainty laugh filled the air before I continued.

"We relax tonight and deal with the rest of this crap later on, yeah?" I asked, pulling out of the hug and smiling at her.

She wiped at her eyes and nodded.

"You always know how to make things better Naru." She smiled at me warmly, and I gave her my best grin.

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	6. Chapter Five

**Ok, so I haven't updated in a while. I have some serious issues happening but surprisingly they are helping me write.  
So here's the next chapter, hopefully I'll have the next chapter done soon.  
This chapter is devoted to the lovely Naruloves65,  
who went out of her way and messaged me. ^-^**

**ENJOYYY.  
**

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It has been a week, a full week, since anyone had heard from Sasuke or Sakura and life had gone of as normal, I took life day by day, just taking everything as it came. It was Saturday evening and I was laying at home on the sofa on the phone to Baa-chan when the doorbell rang, it made me jump out of my skin, I cursed quietly under my breath and ran a hand through my hair, a nervous gesture on mine.

"Ahh, Baa-chan, Can I call you back later? Someone is at the door." I mumbled jumping up and heading to the door.

"Alright Brat. But you better call back!" She growled out.

"Haha, yeah, yeah Baa-chan." I laughed hanging up and placing the phone on the counter as I passed.

I threw open the door and scrunched my eyes shut with a big smile, beaming at whoever was on the other side.

"Hiii!" I cheered.

When I received no reply my grin dropped and I opened my eyes to see Sasuke stood there in the rain, soaked through looking more regretful than he ever had before. He was wearing a white dress shirt, the first 4 buttons undone exposing an expanse canvas of smooth pale chest and some tight fitting, black skinny jeans and black shoes. The shirt was now see through from the wet and sticking to his form like a second skin, his hair was stuck to his face and dripping wet. And _dear god_, did he look **sexy**. But I was supposed to be angry with him so I couldn't dwell on the fact.

"S-sasuke?" I stuttered, my eyes unbelievably wide as he took another step towards me.

"I'm sorry," He whispered as he embraced me, burying his face into my neck. "Naruto."

His breathe was heavy and uneven and hot, god it was hot, on my neck making me shiver. His whole form shook with shiver in the cold evening, I was half frozen in shock but couldn't help but enjoy the contact, I wish I could say I was over him and push him off and slam the door in him face but I couldn't. Gently I pushed him back, he stared at me shocked and hurt before I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, through the house until we reached the bathroom. I pulled him to stand in the middle of the room and let go of his hand, I couldn't think of what to say and I didn't feel I needed to speak. I knelt by the bath and turned on the water, filling the tub as he watched me with expressionless eyes, the silence wasn't as heavy as I expected it to be, I couldn't figure out how i felt yet and what I was going to do, so i acted on instinct. I knew I couldn't just turn him away and leave him soaking wet in the rain and cold, he'd get sick. I stood from my position as the bath filled and walked toward the exit murmuring a quiet 'I'll be back in a moment', before going to cupboard and collecting some towels. When I returned, towels in hand Sasuke was still stood where I had placed him, staring at the mostly full tub. I placed the towels on the towel rack and leaned down and turned off the water before making my way over to Sasuke, his eyes followed all my moves.

"Sasuke," I began, coming close to him and placing my hands on his chest.

He looked at my hands and then my face.

"You need to get undressed." I whispered my hands moving to slowly to undo the buttons of his still sodden shirt.

I could practically feel the weight of the sexual tension in the air as I undid the last button on his shirt, I ran my hands up his chest to his shoulders and pushed the shirt down his arms, my fingers trailed down his skin as i slid the shirt off. My heart felt like it was in my throat I wanted to say something but I couldn't think and I couldn't move. My eyes roamed over the expanse of chest in front of me and I could feel the blush adorning my face. I removed my hands from his wrists where they had rested and I didn't dare look at his face as I stepped back and rushed past him out the of the bathroom half shouting over my shoulder.

"I'll leave you to bathe, I'll order some pizza for when your done, feel free to take as long as you like!" My words were rushed and I could here how flushed and flustered I sounded.

I closed the door behind me and exhaled all the breath i hadn't realised i had been holding. I needed to know what he was doing here, I wanted to cry but I wanted to skip around too, I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. I walked over to the counter and grabbed the phone and the pizza take away menu before flopping down on the sofa. I called the take away and order two plain margarita pizzas, i then tossed the phone to the other end of the sofa near my feet and lay on my back, my arms crossed behind my head and let myself melt into the comfort of my sofa. What was Sasuke doing here? I thought I'd ended it with him? Where has he been this past week? What happened with Sakura? Was he mad at me? Wasn't I supposed to be mad at him? Ughh. All this thinking gives me a headache. I hopped up again and wandered leisurely to my room, I opened up the closet and dug around for the clothes Sasuke had left here a while ago. I found some of his loose grey jogging bottoms and a tight fitting long sleeved black top with the Uchiha symbol on the back I also grabbed a pair of my clean boxers for him and closed the closet. I padded almost reluctantly, but partly excitedly to the bathroom and knocked softly on the door. I heard a grunt on the en side indicating he had heard me knocking, I coughed to clear my throat and spoke.

"Sasuke? Do you mind if I come and get your clothes? I'll need to clean and dry them. I've found some of your clothes you left here, I'll bring them in for you." I tried to sound as if I was unaffected by his presence in my house, but it didn't sound convincing, even to my own ears.

Another grunt sounded from the other side of the door, I took it was a 'No Naruto, I don't mind' and opened the door slowly, cautiously. I avoided looking over at the bath and set the clothes on the side, next to the sink and gathered the wet clothes which were folded neatly and placed on the floor, such a Sasuke thing to do, folding clothes. I chanced a quick glance at him and regretted it. He was laid in the bath, his arms lay on the either side of the rims of the tub and his head was tilted back on the back of the bath, his eyes were closed and he looked so relaxed. I couldn't help but stare. Throughout the time I had known Sasuke, which was a very, very long time, I had seen two sides of Sasuke develop. There was the tough, expressionless, emotionless, glaring, brooding, threatening Sasuke and there was Sasuke, my Sasuke. My Sasuke was all of the things the other side was but he relaxed, he occasionally laughed mainly at me and very often he smiled. Sasukes smile could bring you to your knees, it was breathtakingly beautiful and if he did it all the time, everyone would be fawning over him constantly no matter their age, sex, orientation, etc. I placed the clothes by the door and walked over to the tub, kneeling by it I crossed my arms and rested them on the side of the tub before lying my head sideways on them, to stare at Sasukes tranquil expression. Noting my presence he opened his eyes and stared back at me, I felt a blush creep up my neck at the intensity of his gaze but I fought it down and continued to stare into those endless obsidian eyes.

"Sasuke, why are you here?" I whispered gathering all the courage I could, I was scared silly of what the answer might be, but I had to know.

"I ended it with Sakura." He stated as if we were conversing about the weather, he said it like he genuinely didn't care.

"W-what? W-why?" I stuttered in utter shock as questioned raced through my mind.

"She came home from seeing you screaming and shouting about that picture of us. She knew about us so I figured I should just end it there and then." He still held no emotion in his voice as he spoke.

"But, you chose her over me and yet you've come here? Isn't there a more sensible option?" I growled out, remembering just how heart broken I had been when he had chosen her.

One of his hands raised out of the water and gently stroked my cheek, leaving a hot, wet trail in its wake as he spoke, I leaned into the touch subconsciously and let my eyes close momentarily, they opened as he began speaking again.

"I want a family Naruto. I want children. Me and you, we can't have a family." He whispered his eyes softening and sadness creeping into his tone.

I felt tears burning in my eyes and I flinched away from his touches. It hurt a lot more that I thought it would, probably because I couldn't change that fact. I moved my hands from the side of the tub and stood up, I swiftly turned my back on him whispering a heart broken 'I see.' before grabbing the clothes I left by the door and leaving the room. I was heart broken. This was so stupid and unfair! They couldn't be together be he was unable to have children! It was infuriating, there was nothing I could do, ever, that could change this. I put the clothes in the washing machine and put it on before searching from my wallet and placing it by the door. Keeping busy meant I couldn't lose control of my emotions. I took the necessarily money our of my wallet and placed it by the door. I then headed into the kitchen and made us some drinks as I was taking them into the living room the doorbell rang, I rushed to put them down but by the time I reached the front door Sasuke was slamming the door and sauntering towards the living room. I watched him with a pout as he dumped one box on the table and lazed on my sofa, opening up the box and taking a slice. One of his arms was across the back of the sofa and the other was on the armrest, his legs spread lazily apart, his whoel form relaxed. I sighed and dumped myself next to him, our shoulders touching and my weight leaning against him as I stole the pizza from his hand before he managed to take a bite and grinned as he glared at me. _(1)_ I took a bite from the pizza and relaxed against him, it was so easy to slip back into routine with Sasuke, so easy to just relax and go with it. We ate in silence for a while, finishing the first box of pizza.

"Oi. Pass me my drink." I smirked nudging Sasuke in the ribs.

"Yes Princess." He smirked, I squawked indignantly while he grabbed the drink off the table and passed it to me.

I sat up from my slump and took a long swing before passing it back to him and relaxing back into his side. His arm fell from behind the sofa across my shoulders and I knew I was getting far to comfortable in his embrace but I couldn't make myself move away from him.

"Hn, Dobe?" He grunted.

"Yeah Teme?" I turned to see him staring at me.

"You gonna eat that other pizza?" His eyes flickered to the Pizza as he spoke.

"Nahh, I'm stuffed." I laughed and turned back to staring at nothing.

"You? Not eating? Are you sick!? Did you hit your head!?" He joked and placed mock panic in his voice.

He turned himself towards me and placed his free hand on my forehead, his face arranged in mock worry.

"Shut up Teme." I growled shoving his hand off of my forehead, he hand moved his arm from my shoulders to support him.

He was know on his side, practically lying on the sofa, I was practically lying on my back below him and I blushed at our position.

"Sasuke." It was a warning.

"Naruto." He purred his face closing in on mine, I stared determined into his eyes."I love you."

"Don't." I warned glared.

"I'm serious. I do. I love you. I want you." He groaned. "God I want you."

"Sasuke." Another warning, only it wasn't as strong, Sasuke an I both knew how easily I gave up when it came to our arguments.

His free hand stroked my face and I stared at him determined not to give in, even though the look in his eyes told me he was telling me the truth.

"And when the next woman comes along, huh? I'm not going to sit on the sidelines all the time Sasuke." I snarled glaring at him, when he recoiled slightly I continued. "I want you too. I love you more than anything Sasuke. But you've hurt me and I won't be hurt like that again." I sighed.

I lifted my hand and ran it down the side of his face relishing in the smooth cool skin, I stared intensely at him and watched as the hurt and regret swam in his eyes.

"Please." He breathed, positioning himself so he was hovering over me his hands either side of my head, his legs either side of mine and his face so very close to mine. "Just give me another chance. Please."

It was rare Sasuke ever said please but when he did it was because he genuinely wanted something and the lust burning in his eyes clearly conveyed that it was me he wanted. I was blushing from our position and I fisted the sofa by the side of my body were my arms lay, determined.

"Please." He whispered rubbing his crotch against mine only slightly, teasing.

God, did he love to tease, it set my whole body a light. God. I could feel the desire emanating from him, it made heat pool in my stomach and I could feel my eyes clouding with lust. My body yearned for him and his sinfully good touches but my mind was screaming for me to stand my ground.

"Please." He groaned grinding his hips against mine in a smooth, slow motion.

"Sasuke! D-don't! nghh!" I moaned but couldn't help arching into him and grinding back, my eyes squeezed shut and I grasped the sofa tighter.

"Naru. Mm." He bit out as he thrust his hips forward making me arch further and cry out. "I know you want this too. Just accept it."

As he dry humped me into the sofa I cried out repeatedly, his name fumbling constantly from my lips, I threw my arms round his neck and fisted his hair, pulling him closer to me. We both knew I hand given in, this was me excepting it, I wanted to push him off and hold my ground but giving in held some amazing rewards. He buried his face in my neck kissing, licking, nuzzling and my favourite biting. Every bite made me arch further into the movements, I was panting heavily and loudly I would of been embarrassed if Sasukes breathing wasn't just as loud. We were too dressed. I unwrapped my hands from his neck and clawed at the back of his top, he ignored me and continued ramming his hips into mine. It seemed to encourage him though, as he began to thrust harder and faster, he licked across my collar bone before biting down hard, so hard it broke the skin.

"God! Sasuke!" I screamed as I threw my head back, getting even harder if possible.

I moved my arms under my body so I was leaning back on my elbows watching Sasuke with lust filled, lidded eyes, Blood began to seeping and pooling round the wound as he pulled away, he leaned back into my neck and sucked on the spot, I threw my head back again and shouted Sasukes name as he delivered a particularly hard thrust while sucking harder on my neck, creating a love bite over the actual bite. I was so close to cumming in my pants, fully dressed. Sasuke had a way of making reality disappear and a whole new world of pleasure appear.

"Sasuke, I'mmm, ughh, so, so, close. hah." I panted staring at him again, he smirked and thrust harder again.

"Mmm, me too baby. Me too." His voice was low, husky and smooth like silk, it could bring anyone to their knees.

Sasuke was sinfully sexual in every way. Watching him talk and smirk made me realise how long it'd been since those lips had been on my own.

"Sasukeee." I sounded pathetically needy and desperate but it didn't matter because it only made Sasuke curse under his breath and thrust faster against me.

"Hn, babbyy?" He purred close to my ear, if it was anybody else I would of halted everything and given them a piece of my mind for calling me baby, but because it was Sasuke I let it slid and though I'll always tell him I hate it, I loved it, it turned me on majorly.

"Kiss me, p-please!?" I called out reaching closer and closer to the edge, I sounded so needy and breathless, I wouldn't of denied me if I were Sasuke.

He stared at me shocked momentarily his thrust stopping too, making me whine and buck repeatedly against him, I was so close, I couldn't hold out much longer. He thrusts began again at the pace they were before, fast, hard, rough, the way I liked it. I moaned appreciatively. He dived forward crushing his lips to mine and I melted automatically, opening my mouth to let his tongue explore inside my mouth. I moaned into the kissed as his tongue rubbed against mine, inviting it to move in perfect sync with his. I drew his tongue further into my mouth and sucked long and hard on it. We parted slightly and panted into each others mouths, Sasuke drew forward first kissing my open mouht and them drawing my bottom lip into his mouth and biting it. I moaned into the kiss, Sasuke could kiss better than most people could fuck. Seriously.

"Sasuke!" I cried and came hard.

I heard Sasuke call out my name but I was lost in euphoria, my whole body convulsed and then went slack as I indulged in my orgasm. I was panting and hot. When I came down I was sticky and uncomfortable and Sasuke was heavy against my chest.

"Naru babyy." Sasuke purred sitting up and leaning close to me.

I glared and pouted. As much as I needed that, as much as I needed Sasuke, I was mad. I didn't want this to happen because he wouldn't stay with me, he'd leave me as soon as someone else came along who could give him a family. So I pushed him away, he caught my hands and held them in his own before kissing them lovingly and smiling at me. My pout faltered at his smile and I sighed sadly.

"What's wrong baby?" He whispered against my fists, still kissing my hands.

"You know what." I whispered watching warm lips trail over the skin on my hands.

It was strange to know that I was the only person who saw Sasuke like this, hell, it was strange to think Sasuke could be as loving as he was. My body has cooled down and my breathing had returned to normal but the blush on my face was still evident.

"Look. I want you. I love you. I want to be with you. Can't we just be together and think about the rest later?" He asked, as he did so his lips left my skin leaving a trail of cold where they had touched.

"I guess." I sighed defeated.

I wanted to be with Sasuke so much and my subconscious relished in the chance to take the easy way out.

Easy for now.

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**Y'know?**

_(1) Hard to visual and explain so: http:// www. deviantart .com /art/ SasuNaru-Skaters-88116406 This is the sofa position but with Sasukes arm behind Naruto on a sofa and them more slack to the side._


	7. Chapter Six

**OKAY! HERE IT IS.  
I devote this chapter toooo: bichito101,  
Because she called my story God. ^-^  
& I am not happy. Like all of you guessed my surprise, not cool kids!  
ENJOY.**

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I snuggled further into my soft, thick bed sheets and a sigh escaped my lips as I inhaled the scent surrounding me and lingering in the air, the smell of Sasuke. I had made him sleep on the sofa for the fifth night in a row, it was going to take a lot more than today to make up for what he did, I had also made him get a sweat shirt and wear it all day so I could sleep in it. It smelt like him and that meant a smile was constantly plastered across my face, it was both annoying and amazing how easily Sasuke could make me happy. I couldn't sleep, I was terribly excited and worry about Sasuke being back in my life. It left me very vulnerable and all it would take was one pretty girl who offered to have Sasukes child and BAM! he could be gone forever.

Since he had said that's why we couldn't be together I had thought on the fact and come up with many options, but I only really liked one. Surrogate mothers, they were so easily done and we could find a surrogate mother with some of my traits and maybe, we could have another surrogate other with Sasukes traits to bear my child. I wouldn't want the child to be an only child when I was younger I had always wished for a family, but most of a brother or sister, of course I wanted a mum and dad but I wanted some one I could talk to and play with and have fun with. I hadn't spoke to Sasuke about it yet, he wasn't really big on talking about anything to do with him wanting a family. I had spoke to Ino about it though and she had looked into it all, she thought it was an amazing idea and there is all sorts of information about it and there's plenty of surrogate mothers out there, one of them had to have my traits and one had to have Sasukes.

Last night I dreamt Sakura came to my door, both Sasuke and I answered it, she then proceeded to tell us she was pregnant and it was Sasukes baby. I had turned to him and the pure expression of happiness on his face made my heart shatter. Everything in the dream sped up and suddenly I was stood alone in what seemed like my huge, empty apartment. I sat at the window as tears had trickled down my face and watched the seasons change. I never moved and Sasuke, Sakura and their beautiful children came and went through out the seasons. I watched them grow older and older, grow happier and happier, until one day I passed. The dream turned into an outer body experience and I watched as my body lay unnoticed for days til my land lord came for the rent. I watched my funeral and how no one attended. I watched as mya shes when dumped by some Church member who never even knew me. I watched as no one visited my grave. Not even Sasuke. I had woken up with tears streaming down my face it hurt to even dream something like that.

I flinched and jumped as cold arms slid around my waist and a cold form pressed itself against my back, I had been so lost in thought I hadn't heard Sasuke enter the room or climb into the bed. I pouted and turned on my other side so we were face to face.

"I thought I told you to sleep on the sofa, Teme." I glared.

"But Naru, it's cold." He groaned pulled my body closer to his.

"But a sweater on then!" I screeched struggling in his hold.

"But you're wearing my favourite one." He argued his hold not faltering in his hold, I stop struggling at that.

He had a point there and his whole body was cold as ice and I did feel bad about making him sleep on the sofa, it wasn't all that comfortable to lie on. He smirked as he was my determination wavering, I sighed and shimmed further on the bed making room for him.

"Fine. But no funny business, alright Teme?" I glared still lying on my side facing him.

He shifted further into the bed and relaxed on his back against the mattress a sigh escaping his lips and his eyes closing as his head hit the soft pillows. I smiled at his actions.

"Hn." He grunted and turned his head slightly in my direction as he opened his eyes.

We stared at each other for a while, my mind was still racing and revolved around the idea of a surrogate mother, while Sasukes eyes conveys no emotion as if at that moment his mind was blank. He patted the space next to and smirked, I raised an eyebrow but moved closer to him still lying on my side. As I settled myself next to him I leaned my elbow on the pillow next to his and rested my head on my hand, looking down at Sasuke.

"I can see the clogs in that brain of your churning away. What are you thinking about?" He asked his voice as impassive as ever but in the very back of those onyx depths was a spark of curiosity.

I sighed, there was no point in lying he could see right through my lies and I might as well talk to him about it now. After all we had to discuss it at some point didn't we?

"I was thinking about what you said." I stated gauging his reaction.

He groaned and sighed at the same time.

"I told you to drop it Naruto, I should never have said it." His expression was impassive but his voice sounded exasperated a rare thing for Sasuke.

"No Teme. Just hear me out here?" I asked my hand finding his under the vast amount of bed sheets and twining out fingers together.

He made no sign of protest and he turned his head and stared at me expectantly, I took this as an invitation to begin speaking.

"Have you considered a surrogate mother? We could find one that shared traits with me, blue eyes, blond hair, devilish good looks." I winked and he snorted.

I pressed closer to him.

"C'mon S'uke." I groaned releasing his wrist and moving my arm so I could trace patterns on his chest, he didn't answer but his face showed he was deep in concentration, so at least he was considering the idea.

I traced circles on his chest, then useless squiggles before splaying my fingers out across the skin and sliding my hand over his torso, I was completely caught up in what I was doing I didn't notice him watching me a faith ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Alright." He sighed and I halted my wandering hand and stared at him shocked but pleased. "I'll think about it."

If it was anyone else I'd say he was pouting, but Uchihas don't pout, so he was brooding. A scowl marring his face and his eyes averted a smile tugged at my lips as I continued to stare at him, he didn't look at me for a while and a pregnant silence eloped us and I continued to smile.

"Alright. If you're gonna be like that out of the bed! Back to the sofa with you!" I shouted pushing at his side, holding in a laugh at the startled look on his face.

He grabbed my hands and I struggled to free them, a smirk overcame his face and he flipped us, pinning me to the bed. With his mood lightened I started again.

"I'm serious Sasuke. I can't trust you until we sort this." I said still wriggling my wrist free and linking our hands together.

"You can. I love you." He whispered frowning and squeezing my tan hands which lay in his pale ones.

"I can't. Every moment all I can think of is how someone pretty and successful and amazing and willing to be the mother of your child could pop up from no where and steal you away. I can't even try and trust you until I know I can fix the one thing that could ruin everything we have. I want to, I want to move on and be happy with you but I can't! I just can't." My tone was agitated, I was mad at me, for not being able to move on, for making things more complicated.

"I can't stop wishing I could be what you want, it really, really hurts. I love you S'uke, so very, very much. But I can't even do the one thing you want to have in your life and all I can do is doubt everything, because you left me once and I can't garentee you won't do it again. Because they can give you what I can't and I dream of you leaving me and going back to Sakura and!" I stopped mid sentance.

I was so angry, tears welled in my eyes and I squeezed them shut. I just want ot be happy but I can't even do that. Nothing was that simple anymore and it made me stressed and agitated. I was so over emotional and I couldn't just keep ranting on and on, I took deep breaths and tried to calm down.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, I shoudn't of ever got involved with you." He whispered.

I jerked my hands from his as if his touch burned and I slid from underneath him into a sitting position, I stared at him eyes wide with hurt and confusion.

"You really mean that?" I whispered my hands trembling.

He looked up at me slightly confused but nodded and whispered a barely audible yes.

"You," I swallowed hard trying to wet my suddenly dry throat. "You regret this?" My voice broke and stumbled as I spoke, while the trembling spread through out my whole body.

I felt an overwhelming sadness looming over me and the all to familiar feeling in the back of my eyes signalled the sadness had already taken over. I needed to get a grip, why did I care so much? He didn't seem to!

"I regret that night. I shouldn't of done that to you or Sakura." He said his eyes steely with determination.

And just like that my heart plummeted into my stomach and a lump appeared in my throat. It was as if my lungs were tightening and my breathing became quiet and shallow. I should never have brought it up, I should of just left it well alone. Why? Why!? Why would he go and say that!? I felt a tear slip from eye and roll down my cheek leaving a scorching trail in its wake. I raised my hand to wipe it away but another hand beat me too it, a hand with long elegant fingers and pale, perfect ivory skin. A hand which caught my own and held it tenderly, it was joined by another matching hand which held just one of mine. The calloused and soft palms were so contrasting, like myself and Sasuke.

"I don't regret what that drunken mistake developed into, I don't regret loving you. I just regret how we've become as we are. I wish we could of somehow taken another path." He whispered so sincerely and so, so softy.

The kindness in his voice almost hurt to hear, I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't, could I? god! couldn't it just be simple!? My head and my heart hurt and for a while there was silence between us. I calmed myself down and tried to ignore everything that had been said, I tried to ignore Sasuke and the fact that my chest felt very very tight around my heart. After a little while and a lot of convincing later I felt better a little more sure that me and Sasuke had a future, I wasn't happy again and I could feel the sad look forming on my face. I took some more deep breaths and stared at him, searching his eyes to find some kind of emotion, they seemed sad maybe? They were shielded and even I found it difficult to read Sasuke when he tried to hide his emotions this hard. Then a small smile graced his lips, making me frown more before he opened his mouth.

"If your heart wears thin, I will hold you up and I will hide you; when it gets too much, I'll be right beside you, I'll be right beside you. I will stay. Nobody will break you, trust in me, trust in me, don't pull away! Just trust in me, trust in me. 'Cause I'm just trying to keep this together, because I could do worse and you could do better!" He silky smooth voice sounded rough and low a he sang to me softly, a favourite song of mine which seemed to fit out situation perfectly.

The words I wanted were just out of reach, but they'd never been so loud!

"Sasuke. Donn'tt!" I groaned in a whisper.

He nuzzled against my face turn it away from him and exposing a vast tan canvas of blemishless skin, he ducked his head and nuzzled his face into my collar bone still humming the song quietly under his breath. As much as I wanted to push Sasuke away, the want I felt for his presence overpowered it and I let him do as he pleased, just enjoying the contact. He barely brushed his lips against my skin and let his hot breathe Fan over my skin, as he moved from one place to another a terrible cold spot was left in his wake. I closed my eyes and relaxed back into the soft mattress below me as his lips skimmed over my skin, occasionally placing a butterfly kiss here and there, as a fats a humming birds wings his kisses where there then gone.

Growing up and living alone most of my life meant affection was a rare and precious thing, ever the smallest human contact flooded my heart. I was clingy and needy, something I had always wante-, no, needed was love. Sasuke was surprisingly affectionate despite his cold demeanor, it was like the he kept all his love and affection bottled up around everyone and then when he was me he opened up and lavished me in affection. We really couldn't be more perfectly matched. I was happy and bubbly and he was cold and icy, I needed affection and he had so much to give, he needed someone to care for and I was alone. And that's why it is so hard for me to push him away its easy to just let him show me he loved me. In a way this was fixing our relationship, he knew I needed and wanted affection and he gave it to me. The fact that he would spend such a long time just showing me with affection, just affection, never leading to anything more, amazed me.

He began leaving open mouthed kisses against my skin, making sure to tantalizingly drag his lips along me skin as he closed each kiss, before barely touching my skin again. I know in any normal relationship that this would be considered moving too fast, Sasuke had hurt me very, very much, but I would do anything for him still. Call me stupid but I hopelessly in love with him I couldn't go on without him and now i had experienced each day I had previously go on without him, I couldn't go back to that. Sure it would hurt a hell of a lot more if he left now and it might be more sensible to go slower so it would hurt less if he decided to leave, but we were fixing the problem that had previously ruined our relationship, right?

The kisses and sinful lip brushes stopped and I opened my eyes which were hazy, to find Sasuke staring down at me.

"What are you thinking?" The words were quite and soft.

His affection didn't stop though as he raised a hand to rub and stroke my cheek softly, I leaned into the warmth of his touches and stared up at him, the moment was so intense. I looked away, off to the side.

"Just everything. How I want to be with you and sort the only thing that stands between us out. I know this sounds cheesy and it's over used, but I seriously NEED you in my life, Sasuke." I whispered only look back at him as spoke the last sentence.

His eyes sparked with emotion and then clouded with a mix of sadness and happiness. His hand stilled on my cheek and a frown marred his face.

"Naruto, I-" He began but I smiled and leaned up, capturing his lips in a sweet short kiss.

"It's being sorted, there is no need for you to look so sad." I kissed his lips again and then laid back down.

"I'm tired." I smiled at him mischievously, before grabbing him and pulling his body against mine, I nuzzled my face in his neck while he lay against me and whispered. "Goodnight."

He laughed before wrapping his arms firmly around me and flipping us, so I was lying on him. I shifted so I was comfortably half on and half off his body and cuddled into his chest as he loosened his hold on me and nuzzled his hair.

Today had been so very, very emotional and I had a feeling it wasn't going to get any easier any time soon. Praying I wouldn't dream as I had every night since Sasuke had returned to me.

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**REVIEEEEEWWW?**  
**It could be you who gets a chapter dedication? ;)  
Ohhh, Who can guess the song without looking it up?  
It's my favourite song right now, gets me through some bad timeess.**


	8. Chapter Seven

Grumbling and rolling to my left i stretched my arms above my head and scrunched my eyes tightly, before forcing them open, arching my back I stretched further before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. To my surprise I was greeted with silence when I woke, there was only the slight background noise of the streets outside my closed window. I sat up quicker than i needed to, my head rushed with blood and momentarily i felt dizzy. upon inspection of the room a horrible realization dawned on me. Sasuke was gone.

I jumped out of bed, frantically searching the room for some form of note, but nothing, not a single thing. It was only 8am, where could he have possibly run off to at this early time in the morning? I expanded my search to the rest of the house, but there was nothing, no trace he'd ever even been here. For a moment I stopped and just stared at the wall. Had he even been here? Was it just a dream? It was what I wished after all, oh god, no, please don't let it be a dream. With a heavy heart a shuffled to the bathroom and stripped down for a long, thought filled shower. The warm water was pleasant on my skin, showers have always been the one thing that could soothe me. So there I stood, face down under the pelting flow of warm water, like some sort of broken doll. The truth is nothing ran through my head, not a single thing. But I could feel that terrible feeling in my chest, a feeling that can only be described as a brick being thrown into a river, only the brick was falling and sinking in my heart. My jaw tightened as I tensed it, refusing to cry, the burning began at the back of my eyes and i squeezed them shut. He was here, I know he was. Still the tears leaked from closed eyes and as i opened my mouth to breathe out a shaky breathe a sob racked through my body. I enclosed my arms around myself, as if to hold me together. I couldn't fall apart now.

if what he said was true, he'd chosen me, then where could he have possibly gone?

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**omg. a year later, and here I am. I suck, I know, but it's summer now! writing? reviews please.**


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